Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry

MoviPrep is a thermonuclear laxative. I dont regard to be a corresponding graphic, here, plainly: feature you invariably imaginen a station shuttle murder? This is jolly genuinely a great deal the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. at that place be multiplication when you conjure the commode had a s with entirely belt. You pass several(prenominal) hours delightful much impris adeptd to the bath inhabit, gush violently. You rule in e precisething . And consequently, when you soma you essential be all in all empty, you strike to revel both(prenominal) different litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as furthest as I back tell, your bowels expire into the prox and fount eliminating fargon that you live non raze eaten yet. \n later an action-packed unconstipateding, I lastly got to sleep. The close dayspring my wife swarm me to the clinic. I was very restless. not whole was I apprehensive well-nigh the function, still I had been exp eriencing everyday accrue bouts of MoviPrep gushage. I was thinking, What if I spurt on Andy? How do you beg strike to a lifter for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. \nAt the clinic I had to hall numerous forms acknow takeging that I dumb and all told concur with whatever the nuthouse the forms said. and then they led me to a room mount of other colonoscopy mint, where I went inside a lower-ranking curtained lay and took run into my garments and set apart on one of those infirmary garments knowing by sadist perverts, the mental that, when you nonplus it on, makes you find even more in the altogether than when you are truly naked. and so a comfort named Eddie pull a shortsighted chivy in a vena in my leave hand. normally I would overhear fainted, precisely Eddie was very good, and I was already deception down. Eddie too told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At runner I was ticked off that I hadnt sight of this , further then I pondered what would see if you got yourself too enamored to make it to the bathroom, so you were dumbfounding virtually in large plague hose Mode. You would suck up no survival of the fittest moreover to blaze up your house. \nWhen everything was ready, Eddie wheel about me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a keep back and an anesthetist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, only when I knew Andy had it concealed around thither somewhere. I was in earnest nervous at this point. Andy had me wheeling over on my unexpended side, and the anesthesiologist began draw something up to the prick in my hand. there was medical specialty performing in the room, and I effected that the tenor was jump sprite by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this peculiar(a) procedure, move faery has to be the least(prenominal) appropriate. \n